How I Became Sober: An Inevitable Step or a Stroke of Luck?

Alcohol affects your mental health in ways we often don’t want to admit. It’s a depressant that can linger in your system for up to 8 days. And yet, despite the damage, very few of us dare to point the finger at this glorified vice — because doing so might mean we have to consider quitting.

For me, sobriety started almost by accident. Or maybe it was inevitable.

The Book That Changed Everything

Allen Carr’s Easy Way for Women to Stop Drinking sat untouched in my Audible library for over a year. I’d bought it on a whim during a sale after listening to one of his other books — not because I was ready to stop drinking. In fact, I had no intention of quitting.

Every now and then I’d mention it to a close friend, and they’d warn me not to listen. They knew me well enough to know that once an idea takes root in my mind, it doesn’t let go.

Then, one Monday morning, after a weekend that looked “good on paper” but left me questioning, I pressed play. And my life has not been the same since.

The Weekend Before

The Friday night before, I was at my cousin’s wedding. I drank plenty but managed to avoid disaster. No missing phones, no shameful slips, no awful hangover. The next evening, I went out with friends for a low-key dinner and drinks. Again, it was fine. Nothing dramatic, nothing disastrous.

But that was the problem — it was always the same. The same pubs, the same conversations, the same mornings-after. Each time, I felt a little more tired, a little less strong, a little poorer, and with nothing to show for the precious little free time I had.

There had to be more to life than this.

Planting the Seed

Around this time, I started noticing people who didn’t drink — and they weren’t miserable, boring, or missing out. In fact, they seemed happier. At first, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Then, slowly, I started to admire them. I wanted some of what they had.

Up until then, I had never considered sobriety as a valid choice. In my mind, you only quit drinking if your health demanded it. I believed alcohol made life better. I thought it was a treat, a reward, even a part of my personality.

But deep down, I knew better. I never drank when I needed to be at my best — and that alone told me I knew alcohol was holding me back.

The Turning Point

So that Monday, on the walk back from dropping my kids to school, I pressed play. By Thursday morning, I knew I was finished drinking.

The “fear of success” had kept me from starting the book earlier. I worried about weddings, birthdays, holidays — all the places I thought I’d “need” a drink. But once I started, I couldn’t unlearn what I heard.

That weekend, we celebrated my grandad’s 80th in Kerry. I thought it would be my “last hurrah.” Instead, it was one of the best weekends of my life.

I remembered every moment. I woke up each morning fresh. I ate breakfast with an appetite. I looked in the mirror at night and didn’t see a tired, haggard version of myself. I came home with no regrets, no anxiety, no shame.

I was free.

Life Without Alcohol

Since that week, my life has changed in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I no longer plan my time around drinking. I don’t feel deprived when I say no. I don’t look at people with envy when they drink — I look with gratitude that I no longer need it.

I’ve realised alcohol wasn’t enhancing my life. It was numbing it.

Sobriety has given me:

• Confidence that I am not just a good mum, but a great one.

• The freedom to enjoy health, exercise, and nutrition without undoing it every weekend.

• The ability to enjoy parties, weddings, and nights out — and actually remember them.

• A stronger sense of identity, no longer tied to “a few drinks” being part of who I was.

As I once read:
“I slipped into a pattern, and mistook it for my identity. Now I step outside of it.”

That’s exactly what happened.

The Hard Truth

Since then, I’ve read The Accidental Soberista by Kate Gunn. Her brutally honest stories made me laugh, cringe, and reflect on my own drunken escapades. She reminded me of something I used to believe: that non-drinkers were boring, awkward, people I wanted to avoid. Now I see how wrong I was.

The truth is, drinking doesn’t make you fun. It doesn’t make you confident. It doesn’t make you interesting.

Hard truth: drinking makes you look and feel like shit. Not sorry.

Final Thoughts

I can’t say “never” — life is unpredictable. But I don’t see myself drinking again. There’s nothing in it for me. Sobriety isn’t deprivation; it’s freedom.

If you’re sober-curious, I can only recommend this: read the book. Don’t put pressure on yourself to quit immediately. Just listen, learn, and see how your perspective shifts.

Knowledge is power. And once you know better, you can do better.