You were Never Powerless Against Alcohol
In this post, I challenge the old AA mantra that we are “powerless against alcohol.” I share how that belief can strip people of their autonomy, and why true recovery begins with reclaiming your personal power. Sobriety isn’t weakness — it’s strength, choice, and self-respect.
11/7/20252 min read
“You are powerless against alcohol.”
It’s a phrase used in recovery spaces and a mantra of the AA — but it’s one that never sat right with me. I understand the intention behind it, but I can’t help feeling it undermines the strength and autonomy every person has within them. It paints alcohol as this external force with control over you — as if you are a helpless victim at it's mercy..
The truth? You are never powerless. You have always had power — especially in the moment before you take that first drink.
Yes, it’s true that after a few drinks, our willpower can dissolve. There’s a saying I once heard that sums it up perfectly: “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
I know that feeling intimately. I’ve done and said things drunk that I would never have done sober. But that doesn’t mean alcohol had power over me — it means I gave my power away. And the most liberating realization of my life has been that I can choose not to. That’s not weakness or loss — that’s ownership.
And thankfully, the social culture around drinking is shifting. Getting blackout drunk is no longer seen as a badge of honour. That kind of “crazy drunk girl” energy feels so outdated now — very 90s. Once upon a time, I loved being that person. I thought it made me fun, fearless, the life of the party. But looking back, I see someone who wasn’t comfortable in her own skin, who confused attention with connection.
Now, my strength feels different. It’s calm. It’s quiet. It’s self-respect. I feel powerful — in mind, and physically stronger since I stopped drinking. Of course, life still throws its challenges at me. But I face them feeling more grounded and capable.
And as a single parent, that clarity means everything. I’m the only example my kids have, and I know they’ll learn more from what I do than what I say. I want them to grow up in a home where celebration doesn’t require a bottle, where hangovers aren’t a given, and where “fun” doesn’t mean losing yourself or letting yourself down.
I used to believe alcohol lifted me up, made me lighter, freer. But looking back on tougher times in my life I now realise it was a current dragging me down, when I was fighting to keep my head above water.